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Writer's picturePlastic Pilchard

T Minus 10 Hours

So my surgery is taking place in the morning, fingers crossed. It's been a crazy few days trying to get organised. Not just clearing my desk in work and making sure that people know what to do in my absence but getting the house and myself ready for the big day.


My shopping list:

  • Elastic shoe laces

  • Shoe horn

  • Spare keys to give to friends and neighbours

  • Litter picker/grabber device (for putting my knickers on - seriously, we had to watch a video showing how to do it)

  • Slippers (one size too big as your feet will swell apparently)

  • Sponge on a stick (for washing the lower parts of your body without bending too much) They couldn't make it uglier if they tried.


My to do list:

  • Make a VERY LOUD playlist for during the op (it's an epidural, so I want to make sure I don't hear anything!)

  • Take up all the rugs (trip hazard, my god the house looks bare)

  • Move tinned food and pots and pans to higher shelves in kitchen

  • Get the house spick and span ready for multitudes of visitors post op

  • Weed and water the garden and house plants

  • Cut toe nails (I won't be able to touch my toes for 3 months, so I'm going to have to rely on friends and family to cut them for me)

  • Measure the height of my sofa, bed, armchair and loo (if they are too low Occupational Therapy will come to the house to raise them up for my recuperation)


I also had to stop taking the Naproxen 5 days ago in readiness, so it's been tough dealing with the extra pain and I've felt nauseous for a few days. The throbbing pain in my buttock kept me awake last night, so I'm thoroughly shattered and looking forward to a few days in bed. I've just had my special pre-op carb loading drink which is supposed to aid recover, it wasn't vile as I'd anticipated. I've got to drink another one at 6.00am and then it's nil by mouth.


My lovely friend Sarah is coming to pick me up at 6.20 am to take me to the hospital. I told her I could take a cab but she insisted. Then I told her that I'd wouldn't be wearing any deodorant, so she said we'll have to have the windows open. Cheeky cow!


So I'm off to bed then. I should be in a field in Derbyshire drinking cider with my sister and Bearded Theory, but I'm having an early night instead. Going to make the most of sleeping on my side, I've got to try and sleep on my back only for the next six weeks, it's going to be tough.


See you on the other side.

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