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Writer's picturePlastic Pilchard

Lockdown - Day 61 (Sunday May 24th)

One year ago today since my hip replacement. Also one year ago since I had to miss Bearded Theory festival and felt miserable about it, but hoped I'd make up for it in 2020. Well that didn't work out did it?


I attempted to recreate my own festival in the garden. Wednesday was absolutely scorching and I got the tent out and put it up on the lawn (it just fitted!) and put up my new denim bunting (yes, I finally managed to work out how to use my sewing machine that I've owned for 4 years) and put up some fairy lights. The weather was so nice that apparently hoards of people were driving down to Barry Island from Birmingham but the police were turning everybody around and sending them back. The English don't seem to realise that we extended our lock down for three weeks when Boris decided to relax it in England.


I raced home from work on Thursday to get the festival going. It was cloudy but still warm. I had dinner in the garden then lit the wood burner and sat on the patio watching live music videos on Youtube. The heavens opened at 10.30pm so I had to dash into the tent. It rained on and off most of the night and the wind was whipping up.


By 6.00am I came back indoors. The weather forecast was for 40 mph winds, so I had to take the tent down before it blew away (or before my leaning broken fence post fell on it). So I turned the lounge into a festival. Blankets and cushions on the floor and the ironing board of cheese - of course!


I had a few ciders and had a Zoom with my Bearded Theory friends whilst watching loads of old Bearded Theory footage.


On Saturday I wanted to do absolutely nothing but eat, dance and drink. However I got sucked into Twitter as it emerged that that vile man Dominic Cummings had broken the lock down rules and driven 260 miles to Durham and back. Almost all ministers jumped on to Twitter in his defence, it was cringeworthy. Hoping he'll get sacked but he probably won't as the government is so bloody corrupt and spineless.


At midday I cracked open a Desperados and put on the Bearded Theory playlist and had a bit of a dance around the lounge. Then there as a knock at the door and my mystery parcel from my friend Sarah arrived. It was a jigsaw of the Sagrada Familia. So I started that and listened to Catton Fields Radio. I knocked back a couple of tequila shots too, just for fun. My next door neighbour moved back in today as well. She seems to be back with her boyfriend, that's another few people who have totally ignored the lock down rules!


I had another Zoom with friends in the evening then ate pizza and watched Ghost as I was all festivalled out. I'm going to have to up my stamina ready for next year.


Today the sun is out but it's still really windy. I baked some croissants for breakfast, but they weren't very nice. I really want to start on a health kick now as I feel so bloated and fat, but the house is brimming with crap food and booze. I've got leftover pizza for lunch too! I guess I'll have to leave the house and get a proper walk in but I'm feeling super lazy and have heart burn.


Figures then. I'll have to go and hunt them down as they seem to rarely get spoken about now on the radio bulletins and I haven't watched any of the daily briefings for ages. Official figures say that there are 257,154 cases in the UK with 36,675 deaths. ONS reckons it's more like 60,000 dead. My friend's Dad lost his brother and the start of the lockdown and lost his sister yesterday. He's the only sibling left. So sad.

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