I booked the day off today as work has been really getting me down. It's just so hectic and exhausting and relentless. Of course it's NOTHING like being on the front line and I do appreciate that, but I REALLY wish I had been furloughed. I have so much I could be getting on with. I had to speak to a furloughed colleague this week and she complained of being bored whilst I was stuck in the office will 6.15pm with a 5 minute lunch break.
So I had a lovely lazy day. I managed a lie in until 7.30am, a leisurely breakfast watching Gogglebox (Jenny is staying in Lee's caravan for the lock down!), then hoovering and putting washing away, then logo design of the day. I FaceTimed my friend Liz before lunch, then my Mum after lunch. Then spent the afternoon watching photography and logo design tutorials and learnt a few new techniques.
I've got a Zoom meeting with my sister and some friends at 7.30pm, so planning on having a gin & tonic then. The weather has turned a bit wet and windy so I haven't bothered going out for my daily exercise today. I wonder whether it'll be nice enough for me to cycle in to work tomorrow or not. Petrol is down to £1.02 a litre at the minute, but I'm not driving anywhere so have no need to fill up.
France have put forward their strategy for easing the lockdown. It was a bit of a depressing read to be honest. The lockdown will be eased in stages, shops will open but bars, restaurants and cinemas to remain closed for now. You can travel without a permit, but no more than 60km from home. Seats will be taped off on buses and trains to allow social distancing. The French will be able to start socialising again as long as gatherings were kept to a maximum of 10 people. Individual sports will be permitted, but beaches and some parks will remain closed at least until 1 June.
I'm assuming that we will watch closely how this works and then implement something similar, but I just can't see how we can avoid a second spike. My friends in London have started wearing masks as it's too crowded there and difficult to social distance. It's hard enough avoiding people here at the moment and will be much, much harder when the lock down ends. I end up cycling in the middle of the road half the time to avoid pedestrians, but that will be harder when there are more pedestrians and more cars on the road.
I started to think 'what if things NEVER go back to normal' thoughts yesterday. What if thousands more people die (we are already up to over 26,000 and that's just the official figure) and half of the businesses go bust. In America they are claiming we're on track for a recession worse than the great depression. They think it will be an L shaped depression which could last for most of the 2020s. How depressing is that? I thought about how maybe we won't be able to have lots of the foods and drink that we're used to and how I would miss things like wine and that I may have to start making my own and turn the lawn in to a vegetable patch just so the I can eat. I hope that this doesn't happen, but it is a reality. I keep thinking about what it must have felt like during World War II. Not knowing when it was going to end, not knowing if you would survive.
When going on my daily walks I often get time to think whilst listening to music. Almost every song brings back a happy memory for me. It made me think that this must be what it's like to be on your death bed, or to be old and decrepit. You can only remember things that happened in the past yet can't think about what might happen in the future because you really just don't know what lies ahead.
I've been watching the BBC show Race Around the World where 5 couples compete against each other to get from one place in the world to another without flying and on the same limited budget. It was filmed last Autumn and it's made me so happy and sad watching it during the lock down. Just seeing them walking freely, chatting to strangers, hugging people, sitting in bars and cafes. It has totally given me wanderlust again, I want to visit Nicaragua, Bolivia, Argentina, Chile and Peru. And once it's safe to do so that's what I intend to do. It's probably a few years away and I will hopefully have retired (early) by then so I can go away for a few months. But who knows. We may never be a able to travel so freely again. I hate all this not knowing. Nobody know. It's unprecedented and today it's really pissing me off. I'll probably be fine and pragmatic again tomorrow, but this is what life is like during the pandemic. Huge swings of emotions from and optimistic 'it'll all be fine' to a pessimistic 'life will never be the same again'.
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